My mother had a keychain when we were children that I can remember very vividly. It had a picture of a frazzled mom driving a car full of children, several of whom were hanging out the windows, and it had a saying on it – “If a woman’s place is in the home, then why am I always in the car?” I always enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek-ness of the saying hanging from my mom’s keys. She spent hours upon hours every week in the car toting children from swimming practice to karate to dance lessons to church activities. I remember my mom resembling that lady on her keychain; frazzled, stressed, always calculating the next pickup or drop off spot and trying to figure out if she could squeeze just one more person in the car. At the time, I did not envy her in the least. Now that I am running my own children around, I am understanding more and more why she would literally drive herself to exhaustion running us kids around.
I love carpool! No, I have not gone crazy; I really do love my carpool days. This year is the first year I have fully participated in a carpool system. My oldest daughter has leveled up in her dance group so that she is now taking three hours of dance each week spread over two days. With her younger sister dancing at a different time and basketball season and girl scouts in full gear, it just made sense to carpool. I put feelers out to other moms with similar schedules and the response was incredible. Everyone wanted to carpool. In fact, we had enough interest that we have three full carpools going from the elementary school to dance on the same days! I thought I would feel relief. I thought that only having to pick up girls once a week would somehow give me this wealth of free time I hadn’t had before. I don’t and it doesn’t. I actually find myself looking forward to the days when it is my turn to drive.
There’s something about having friends in the car that makes your own children forget that an adult is in there, too. When I pick up “the crew” every Thursday, they pile in my mom van and immediately start talking. They talk more on the fifteen minute drive to the dance studio than they do any other time. They talk about their days, school projects, upcoming birthday parties, friend drama and, of course, boys. Now at this age, there’s not any serious talk about boys, but it’s still fun to hear them chatter on and on. For some reason they feel free to discuss anything and everything with their friends in the car that they wouldn’t dare share with mom one on one. I just quietly listen in as they ponder love and life and solve world problems, all the while they are totally oblivious to my presence. It is some of the most enjoyable time of my week. I have to suppress the urge to chime in sometimes, worried that they’ll suddenly become self conscious or keenly aware of my presence. I am hopeful that as they get older, and as I continue to drive them from one activity to another, they will continue to be blissfully unaware of my presence. I hope they will share the inner workings of their hearts with one another, and I will be privy to these conversations, all because I drive carpool.
So, whether you think a woman’s place is in an office or in the home or anywhere in between, I encourage you to take any time you are given in the car and make the most of it. Don’t be intrusive, just let them pour out their hearts to each other and be thankful that driving carpool allows you some insight into their lives.