My husband and I are having a date this weekend – a real, going out date. Not the “let’s go grocery shopping by ourselves” kind of date, either. We have booked a babysitter, are getting dressed up and are going out to a nice dinner. The process of getting a sitter always evokes fond memories for me of reading Ann Martin’s classic series, The Baby-Sitters Club. I grew up with Kristy, Dawn, Claudia, Mary Anne and Stacey. I always imagined my own children having a group of best friends that were just itching to come and stay with them while I was all kinds of productive. This is a fun notion, but not reality.
Since having my own children, I have found out that baby-sitters are a hot commodity, shared only with the closest of friends. I find myself becoming almost territorial over my regular sitters. Once I find a good one, I don’t want them poached by someone else. My husband and I try to pay competitively and I find myself trying to impress the sitters that come, making my house the “fun house” so they’ll want to come back. I happily share recommendations to my friends of the just so-so sitters. I am more guarded with the really great ones. I only share their contact information with a select group, the so-called inner circle. And even then, I find myself thinking and worrying, “what will happen if we need them at the same time?” I know you’ve all been there. The person you choose to leave your children with when you can’t be there has to be special. They have to be dedicated. They have to be, well, a version of you. We’ve developed great relationships with our sitters over the years. My girls have been flower girls in their weddings, we’ve cried as they moved away to college and we celebrate when they start having babies of their own. I know the parents reading this understand. In thinking about all this, I thought I’d put together a list for all the sitters out there. This is a top 5 list of what you need to do or be if you want to be that sitter that everybody wants. Follow this list and you’ll never lack for jobs and your pay will be top notch.
5. Don’t fall asleep! I know this sounds silly, but it happens. I get it. I did it back in my own baby-sitting days. But if you want to be a favorite, don’t. I know there are late nights. I know that often you get kids to bed by 9 PM and parents don’t make it home until 11 PM or Midnight. Still, don’t do it. Bring a magazine, watch a movie, drink some coffee, whatever you need, but stay awake. As parents, we want to know that you are alert and responsive for any bad dreams or late night drinks of water.
4. Tidy up. Again, this is simple, but it makes the biggest difference. We all love babysitters who clean the kitchen. Get the kids to help you. They should clean up their own messes, but might need a little encouragement from you. If you leave the house just a little neater than it was when you arrived, you have a leg up on everyone else who doesn’t. It’s like an extra bonus for a night out – coming home to a cleaned up kitchen and playroom. The husbands will appreciate the good mood it keeps their wives in, trust me.
3. Be a good driver. My favorite sitters are the ones that can drive. As a teacher, I often have to have a sitter during the daytime. Being able to take my girls to do fun activities I wish I could do with them puts you ahead. I love when sitters take it on themselves to go to the Aquarium or the Zoo or just to a playground. We understand children need a change of scenery. Give it to them. Additionally, driving has become an extra benefit with my youngest. It hasn’t happened, yet, but it is just a matter of time until I’ll get the call to meet the girls and the sitter at the ER. She has had stitches twice in her five years and many near misses on broken bones. Knowing the sitter can put her in the car and drive her to the hospital eases my mind.
2. Get good at feeding and bathing. There is something so satisfying about leaving a sitter with instructions to feed the children dinner and bathe them before bed and knowing when you come home, they will have eaten enough and be clean. Of course, you can let the older kids shower themselves. Please, please brush their hair afterwards, though. The younger ones enjoy playing in the tub and honestly, sometimes, we as moms are just too tired to play with them. Get the toys out, put the bubbles in and be silly. My girls have always loved bath time with sitters there. It’s like they know it means extra play time. A night out for us moms is usually designed to be a night off. If you can feed and bathe our children, it makes it much more of a real night off.
1. Do something EXTRA! If you really want to be in demand, find something around the house that needs doing and do it. It can be anything really. It might even get you a little bonus pay. My favorite sitters don’t always do the same something extra, but they always do something. In the past it has consisted of folding the clean laundry I just couldn’t get to, making a craft I didn’t plan, feeding the animals for me, or remembering their birthdays. My girls love these sitters, and therefore, so do I. It is that little something extra that makes you our favorites and makes us love you like our own.
Thank you to all the members of the Baby-Sitters Club out there. You are treasures.